Drabble: Nature - Angel/Wes-ish

[lonelybrit]

Hmm, this was meant to be for slashthedrabble, except by the time I got the computer up and running the challange was over. Ah well. Here it is anyway, short and possibly a little angsty...


Part of human nature’s charm is its unpredictability. Its lack of logic. Though Spike pities Angel, it's mixed with envy at his opportunity to live that again.

He hadn't known Wesley well, his memories aren't brilliant. Yet he remembers quite clearly that glum moment of realising Angel had done it again. Any idiot could see the Watcher's world revolved around the overdressed poof.

Another bright memory is that night, decades ago now, in the alley, rain running with blood over the ground. Angel never said a word. Not once. If he ever mentioned Wesley again, it certainly wasn't to Spike. Who took his silence at face value.

Now?

Angel's frail, sick. He’s had a good life, but nature must take its course. Words suppressed for years seem to be finally breaking free as the body crumbles. Words, emotions and rage still deadly sharp after all this time. Angel may be fading, but he still knows how to cause damage. It was him mistaking Gunn's boy, Robert, for Vail that finally triggered the call to Spike.

In this brief moment, Spike wonders if Angel felt this keenly at the time, or whether this heartbroken fury was slowly stoked up over the years by denial. What is it that sends Angel on these sleepless walks; crying and shouting at enemies long dead?

Spike captures the flailing arms and tries to soothe the man, gentle pressure on those now bird-light bones. It's alright, Angel, they've gone now, it's alright. The eyes turned on him, normally clear, tonight look somewhere else. Odd, that of all the heartbreaks during his life, it’s this one that haunts. Spike would have expected Buffy; Nina, even Fred. Instead it's this one that stills Angel, drawing a relieved shining smile from him as he whispers a dead man's name.



Untitled 500 word 'sequel' here

Comments

[eloise-bright.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know how much I love this. You set this up beautifully; stoic Angel not mentioning Wesley for years, till the end, till he's approaching death and all his defences are down...

It was him mistaking Gunn's boy, Robert, for Vail that finally triggered the call to Spike.

That line just broke me. SO much in there unsaid. The unlived lives, the fact that they knew to call Spike.

And it's Wesley he asks for - sees maybe? *wishes hopefully*

[lonelybrit]

In my mind, it was a compromise. If I let Wesley stay dead, then I was at least going to let Gunn - the last human of the team - survive and get to live his life the way he deserved.

And maybe Angel sees Wesley, certainly it's him he's asking for at the end and it's who he mistakes Spike for. You know how twitchy I get about what happens after death in fics, but in this case I think I could bend the rules a little... LOL!

[sottovoce10.livejournal.com]

That's just too poignant for words. And really brings home what an awful idea it is for either Angel of Spike to become human again. So well written.

[lonelybrit]

Aw, thank you. Though I think that even though it's rather a messy way to go, Angel wouldn't give up his humanity if given the choice. I think he'd feel the pain at the end was worth it in the long run.

[lonelybrit]

Thank you! I actually felt quite bad for Spike in this, everyone else seemed to get something, but he was still a vampire, with all this friends leaving him. Though if they knew they could call him, I guess that's a sign he does still have a place of a kind. And there's always Robert to hang out with.

[bvl-buffy.livejournal.com]

Wow, that just catches my heart in my chest. So amazing. So perfectly, stupidly stoic Angel.

And damn, poor Robert if he looks like Vail. :D

[lonelybrit]

Yep, Angel really does have the whole I Suffer In Silence And Brood thing down to a T! *pets him* Thank you!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Damn, sorry you missed the posting day. Go add a comment to the closing post so I remember to add it to the memories the next time I update them.

Powerful and sad and dammit, who said Shanshu was a good thing anyway?!

[lonelybrit]

Considering that the bunnies currently eating me alive all come from the land of Fluff and Schmoop, I am a little puzzled as to where this blighter came from exactly, LOL! And yes, the Shanshu is a mixed blessing I think...

[vampirefever.livejournal.com]

*sniff*
Wondeful :-)

[lonelybrit]

*pets*
Aw, Thank you! =)

[lonelybrit]

I think that's possibly the final upside of the Shanshu. If there is anywhere good souls go afterwards, at least this way Angel has a greater chance of finding Wes, considering they both died/will die human. *hugs* Thank you!

[allegraconbrio.livejournal.com]

Fabulous. So well written and so very poignant. Loved it, LB. Just loved it.

[lonelybrit]

Oh thank you! It turned out to be a little more angsty than my usual fare, but it did have to be written, LOL! The more typical shameless fluff will no doubt return anon :)

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

Very haunting.

[lonelybrit]

Thank you! :)

[hellespont.livejournal.com]

Yeep. Veryvery good. The image of Angel old, sick, senile, human but still full of all those years of madness and horror, still deadly and haunted - I love it, shivers notwithstanding! And I'm glad that Gunn got to have himself a kiddo.

[lonelybrit]

Thank you! I can imagine Angel, even when weak, would remember moves that still could be dangerous. And yes, I had to give someone a kind of happy ending, and if Wes couldn't get it then Gunn damn well deserved one. *nods*

[nevcolleil.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness... What am amazing idea. So touching and real - the reminder that life does go on, with Gunn having a son... And an aspect of Angel's winning the shanshu that doesn't usually get thought about. His debilitating at the end of his mortal life. The way he held in his grief in the beginning, and the way Wes's death haunts him... And how Spike knew things would end badly

Yet he remembers quite clearly that glum moment of realising Angel had done it again.

and is there for Angel when he needs him...

*sigh*

This fic makes me terribly happy, and heartbreakingly sad, all at the same time :) Thank you.

[lonelybrit]

*grin* Always happy to break a heart or two... THank you!

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

You made me cry. I have tears streaming down my cheeks.

Had both Spike and Angel shanshued?

What a lovely sad tale.

[lonelybrit]

*pets* No, just Angel in this one. THough in my mind the future for Spike it still very uncertain, he could still Shanshu, who knows.

Thank you :)

[chlare.livejournal.com]

Ohh. *lip trembles*

Instead it's this one that stills Angel, drawing a relieved shining smile from him as he whispers a dead man's name.

and

Another bright memory is that night, decades ago now, in the alley, rain running with blood over the ground. Angel never said a word. Not once. If he ever mentioned Wesley again, it certainly wasn't to Spike. Who took his silence at face value.

So entirely sad. Oh. *is speechless*

[lonelybrit]

Awwww, *petpet* I don't know where the angst came from, but it suddenly devoured my brain, probably in retaliation for all the fluff I usually write, and wouldn't go away until I'd written it. Glad you liked it, though :)