I blame
eloise_bright for getting me hooked again on
secretary_rpg. I start catching up just in time for the shit to hit the fans. *sniffles* Wes and Faith! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!
On a slightly more cheerful note, I also have
caytlyn to thank for coming up with this meme-y thing. It's still under construction, so any help and suggestions are gratefully received.
101 Ways To Get Rid of Unwanted Calls
101.) Wolfram and Hart answering service routine... 'You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say "goats." To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound—'
100.) Answer the phone with silence and/or heavy breathing, Darth Vader style.
99.) Pick up and just hold a number key down to make that long beeping noise...
98.) Pick up the phone, while yelling, "Yes, yes, YES!"... See if they get the hint ;)
97.) Act drunk. A classic, but fun nonetheless. Just be sure to be more original than the 'I swear to drunk I'm not god, you shilly sit. I'm sotally tober.' Exercise creativity, and come up with something new.
96.) Go, 'Bored now,' and hang up.
95.) Keep insisting you don't want Tupperware. They'll keep trying to insist that they're not SELLING Tupperware, and this way, you get them nice and frustrated.
94.) Learn how to say 'Filthy manwhore!' in a demonic language. Even if they don't understand, maybe they'll get the gist anyway. Or learn Klingon...
93.) Answer in an overly cheerful voice- 'Hi... I knew you'd call right now! The god Zeus told me so... who are you again?" Or whichever god/deity you want.
92.) Another answering-phone ploy: 'You have reached the psychiatric hotline! Please press one repeatedly if you are obsessive compulsive. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press two for you. Press 3,4, and 5 if you have multiple personalities. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. We are tracing the call, and coming to get you. If you are schitzophrenic, wait and listen, and a little voice will tell you what to do next.'
91.) If someone calls and mispronounces your name, you insist that there is no one there by that name. Which is technically true.
90.).... no idea. Any suggestions?
On a slightly more cheerful note, I also have
101 Ways To Get Rid of Unwanted Calls
101.) Wolfram and Hart answering service routine... 'You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say "goats." To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound—'
100.) Answer the phone with silence and/or heavy breathing, Darth Vader style.
99.) Pick up and just hold a number key down to make that long beeping noise...
98.) Pick up the phone, while yelling, "Yes, yes, YES!"... See if they get the hint ;)
97.) Act drunk. A classic, but fun nonetheless. Just be sure to be more original than the 'I swear to drunk I'm not god, you shilly sit. I'm sotally tober.' Exercise creativity, and come up with something new.
96.) Go, 'Bored now,' and hang up.
95.) Keep insisting you don't want Tupperware. They'll keep trying to insist that they're not SELLING Tupperware, and this way, you get them nice and frustrated.
94.) Learn how to say 'Filthy manwhore!' in a demonic language. Even if they don't understand, maybe they'll get the gist anyway. Or learn Klingon...
93.) Answer in an overly cheerful voice- 'Hi... I knew you'd call right now! The god Zeus told me so... who are you again?" Or whichever god/deity you want.
92.) Another answering-phone ploy: 'You have reached the psychiatric hotline! Please press one repeatedly if you are obsessive compulsive. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press two for you. Press 3,4, and 5 if you have multiple personalities. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. We are tracing the call, and coming to get you. If you are schitzophrenic, wait and listen, and a little voice will tell you what to do next.'
91.) If someone calls and mispronounces your name, you insist that there is no one there by that name. Which is technically true.
90.).... no idea. Any suggestions?
no subject
Date: 2004-10-24 03:41 pm (UTC)'London Zoo, Head Snake speaking...'
Confuses the crap outta people! Works with other random business/employee combinations too... [g]
no subject
Date: 2004-10-24 03:58 pm (UTC)Oh, yes, I do like that one... :)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-24 05:20 pm (UTC)Kind of sums it up, doesn't it? ::sobs quietly::
no subject
Date: 2004-10-24 05:27 pm (UTC)Oh they said such terrible things... and they're both so broken and... and... *sobs*
no subject
Date: 2004-10-24 08:55 pm (UTC)Joe's moruge ... you stab them we slab them.
Joe's roadkill diner ... you kill it we grill it.
*hugs* Missed ya.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-25 03:22 pm (UTC)Hehe... oh, those are fun... *rubs hands*
Nice to see you too :)
no subject
Date: 2004-10-26 06:29 pm (UTC)And now I blame you! I haven't been able to stop reading since your post. Damn you! Daammmmnnn Yooouuuuu! But it's sooooo good! Screw school, and housework, and the rest of my life! Secretary is one of my all time favorite movies. Mix that with my favorite ship and you have me foaming at the mouth. I could bearly break to post this comment! :D
no subject
Date: 2004-10-27 05:42 pm (UTC)*hugs* Don't worry, at least you're never lonely around there :)