It's so easy when you're evil

[lonelybrit]

So some of you may be aware of my love-hate relationship with these online meme thingies. Namely because 8/10 times the results will, if possible, proclaim me as being some kind of minion of darkness. Charming. Anyway, moving onto what should have been an entirely unrelated topic...

So today I dutifully trotted into work and was settling myself down at the desk when my line manager pops her head round the corner of a co-worker's computer

Line Manager: I had a dream about you last night LB.
Co-worker: ...
LB: Oh...
Line Manager: Yeah, I was having this dream and you were in it.
LB: Did you wake up screaming?
Line Manager: Er-
LB: Of course.
Line Manager: - Well actually it was really horrible because you were really really scary, I mean- You were really really evil.
Co-worker: *quietly dies laughing*
LB: Oh?
Line Manager: *starting to get worked up* It started out okay, you were helping me with something. And then it started getting woozy and I realised you had poisoned me and you wouldn't help me and you were just really really evil.
LB: Oh dear.
Line Manager: *by now quite twitchy* It was horrible! You were just watching me die... So then I somehow made you doll-sized and bashed you on the floor and threw you out the front door.
LB: I don't think your subconscious likes me.

This being the abridged version. The poor lady looked quite traumatised and spent a good five minutes making sure we understood just how horrifically evil I was. Apparently she woke up so terrified she couldn't actually move and then had to wake her boyfriend for comfort. I feel I should be claiming some kind of badge. *shakes head* In any case. Sending special if slightly evil hugs to bouncymonkey and eatenbyweasels - two lovely lovely people who I am thinking very fondly of at the moment for various reasons.

Comments

[eloise-bright.livejournal.com]

See, we all know you're evil, and this is clearly the start of your master plan of evil. Killing people through their dreams. Are you perhaps wearing a red and black striped top and a glove with razor finger nails.

Have to say, your line manager sounds pretty evol herself, with the voodoo doll thing and then bashing you on the floor.

*pets you, but catiously, in case you poison me*

Although, as I'm a minion of yours, that technically makes me a minion of a minion of darkness, so I should be safe, right?

GO EVOL LB! Take over the world through poison.

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

you forgot the grungy baseball cap! It's a key piece of the killer psycho's wardrobe! *g*

^^^pets LB^^^

I knew you were truly evil when you curled up around my ankles like a cat at Horbling and went to sleep. I only ever attract the cats who would rather disembowel a person than let themselves be petted. They all end up curled on/around me, with their owners looking terrified and saying things like "Now, don't move, okay? He'll wake up soon and get down on his own. Just... don't touch him." And this after I spent five minutes petting the thing while they were in the kitchen.

I've been offered no less than three 'spawn of satan' cats by friends who have never seen those cats take to anyone before.

So, catlike behaviour and sleeping on me = truly evil. *smooches you*

[lonelybrit]

Well I went into work today in pretty much all black, does that count? Sadly the sky refused to darken and thunder didn't roll when I entered the building, but hey, one step at a time.

Clearly evil thinks you have a sympathetic and understanding face. This is a useful trait and you should definitely figure out a way to exploit it to its full advantage =)

[lonelybrit]

*sporks LJ*

I suppose I can comfort myself that however bad I get, LJ will always go one better. Damn you LJ and your nefarious comment-eating ways!

Yes, I think we are joint minions of darkness. Which means we will either rule the world, or else wind up at each others throats and nearly destroying earth in the crossfire before reconciliation over tea *hugs* =)

[ok2nv-theoracle.livejournal.com]

You can sneak into people's dreams and poison them?

Cool.

You're gonna hafta teach me how to do that. *veg*

[lonelybrit]

I know! Nifty isn't it =)

Now if I could just figure out exactly how then surely world domination will be a doddle...

[princess-s.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Give it up, come over to the dark side and be happy about it :P

[lonelybrit]

Heh, evil does seem to have far too much fun. I got no sympathy at all from the spawn who just looked at me once I'd finished my tale and told me: 'But you are evil LB'. My family love me really ;)

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

*snicker* you should start making her cups of tea, just to freak her out. :)

[x-equals-speed.livejournal.com]

Be sure to add some sort of unusual flavouring and/or food colouring to this tea - not so much it's obvious, but just enough to trigger a "something wrong with this cup" reflex.

And buy her a doll of you for her birthday :D

[lonelybrit]

We do have a small stock of artificial sweetners out in the kitchen which no-one uses actually, I wonder... ;)

[x-equals-speed.livejournal.com]

Why wonder when you can experiment?

[lonelybrit]

*snorfle* Oh yes, and deliver them with a sweet sweet smile...

[bouncymonkey.livejournal.com]

I'm not scared by your evil hugs! *glomps you gleefully*

[lonelybrit]

Wheee!! Yes, another one embraces the dark side! *smishes you*