La la la...
Mar. 9th, 2004 02:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lonelybritAnd again welcome to a disturbingly cheerful day.
I got my homework in on time. Always guarenteed to make me smile, espeicially when the next batch aren't for a week now. (**danceofjoy**)
I think I can say that I do have a cold. I'm sneezing very frequently, eyes itching and aching, head feeling slightly fuzzy... but other than that I'm actually feeling pretty damn good.
I also, finally, managed to battle my way to a uni computer and look at all my emails. My mother had sent me a touching tale, designed to put a bad day at work in perspective:
A true story...................................
From: Thomas. Kelly
a day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Mayo. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to RnaG in Galway, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, he won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This EUR 20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my arse was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my arse.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my arse as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my hole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Right. Lectures are done for the day. After stopping by the shop to buy Ribena, I'm heading home for a nice long soak in my birthday mustard and honey bath salts, followed by a steaming drink of sugary goodness, and *then* dragging myself back out to rehearsals and *then* onwards to a friend's birthday do.
*sigh*
I got my homework in on time. Always guarenteed to make me smile, espeicially when the next batch aren't for a week now. (**danceofjoy**)
I think I can say that I do have a cold. I'm sneezing very frequently, eyes itching and aching, head feeling slightly fuzzy... but other than that I'm actually feeling pretty damn good.
I also, finally, managed to battle my way to a uni computer and look at all my emails. My mother had sent me a touching tale, designed to put a bad day at work in perspective:
A true story...................................
From: Thomas. Kelly
a day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Mayo. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to RnaG in Galway, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, he won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This EUR 20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my arse was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my arse.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my arse as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my hole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Right. Lectures are done for the day. After stopping by the shop to buy Ribena, I'm heading home for a nice long soak in my birthday mustard and honey bath salts, followed by a steaming drink of sugary goodness, and *then* dragging myself back out to rehearsals and *then* onwards to a friend's birthday do.
*sigh*
